Johnny follows a hot girl dressed as a princess to a renaissance carnival. He believes that he has gone through a time portal and is really back in the middle ages. He attempts to impress the locals with his 20th century knowledge, only to ruin all of the events at the carnival by accident.

Johnny decides to be nice to Carl, thinking that he is going to die, but Carl takes advantage of him.

Thinking he will meet Santa Claus, Johnny goes to a courthouse and ends up on the jury. The female defendant, accused of “triple parking in a no loading zone”, is guilty in everyone’s eyes except Johnny’s.

Johnny talks to a beautiful woman eating at Pops’ restaurant, and she tells Johnny that he is no gentleman. Pops attempts to take Johnny and turn him into a gentleman, worthy of high society, within seven days.

Johnny is trying to get Squid Ringo’s tungsten knuckles, but they do not have any more of Krelmann’s Prune Spread. Johnny thinks that Suzy is taking some to her grandmother in the woods.